Therapy for Trauma
You’ve been through a lot. And you’ve come a long way.
But there are nights that you can’t sleep. You are constantly on-guard, watchful, or easily startled. Perhaps, there is a feeling of being numb or detached. Or you may find that you avoid people, places, and things that bring up “bad” memories.
You don’t have to go through this alone. There is a path forward and therapy can help in your journey toward healing.
What is trauma?
We all experience adversity during our lifetimes. Sometimes, however, a traumatic event can overwhelm our ability to cope. This is especially true when the experience is very distressing, frightening, or life-threatening.
Examples of trauma include war/combat, natural disasters, physical assault, sexual assault, accidents, illnesses, witnessing bodily harm or death, and exposure to school violence.
Some types of trauma may fly under the radar but may continue to impact our lives. Childhood abuse and neglect are examples. Witnessing domestic violence during childhood is another example.
How does trauma show up in my life?
We all have bad memories and fears that seem to creep in when we least expect them. But if you are a trauma survivor, your past doesn’t feel like it’s in the past. It keeps showing up in your present.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) refers to a series of reactions that arise in response to trauma. Some of the ways that PTSD show up are:
~ Trouble sleeping.
~ Repeated, disturbing, unwanted memories/dreams or flashbacks.
~ Anxiety, fear, anger, shame, grief, or sadness.
~ Having a strong physical reaction when something reminds you of the traumatic experience (for example, heart pounding, trouble breathing, sweating)
~ Avoiding people, places, activities, things, memories, thoughts, or feelings related to the stressful experience
~ Trouble experiencing positive feelings
~ Feeling distant or cut off from people.
~ Being "super alert", easily startled, watchful or on guard.
Trauma and Reactivity
Have you noticed that more things bother you now? If so, you are not alone. Trauma can shrink our window of tolerance, making us more reactive. Our ability to handle emotions and stressors can decrease. We might be more easily activated/triggered. One of the goals of therapy is to increase the window of tolerance and reduce reactivity.
This video offers a brief overview of the nervous system and the window of tolerance.
Why would something that happened way back in childhood still impact me?
Childhood experiences and interactions influence brain development. Early experiences shape the way we see ourselves, others, and the world. In childhood, we form attachments with adults and learn how to cope with life’s challenges. Safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments in childhood are the building blocks for future healthy relationships and coping skills. Negative experiences can contribute to poorer mental and physical health as adults.
Although we cannot undo the past, we can heal from it. And we can change generational narratives and interrupt cycles of abuse. Counseling can help strengthen the tools needed to challenge old narratives, overcome trust issues, make more meaningful connections with others, or regain a sense of emotional balance.
How does trauma affect my relationships?
Trauma can show up in different ways.
~ It can block us from connecting with others. Intimacy can be challenging. We might keep people at arm’s length even though we really want to connect.
~ We may find that we blow-up or completely shut down when triggered, creating further distance in the relationship.
~ It can be hard to share our thoughts and feelings, especially in a vulnerable way.
~ We (and our partners) may feel isolated or alone in the relationship.
“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.”
— Brene Brown
Trauma & Recovery
Just as trauma has many dimensions, so too does recovery and healing. Healing is an individual experience. What works for one person may not work for you.
Some of us may find comfort with trusted friends, family, allies, or spiritual fellowship. Others of us may find interaction with other people too difficult or exhausting.
Solace may be found by connecting with nature, being with a loyal pet, or exercising. Mediation, prayer, art, music, and reading can also help.
If you are experiencing ongoing fear, confusion, relationship challenges, emotional pain, or other other symptoms of trauma, counseling can be helpful.
Videos and Blog Posts
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Trauma: The Family Lifeboat
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Trauma and Your Inner Critic
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Ambiguous Loss
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Disenfranchised Loss
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Post-Traumatic Growth. Is it a thing?
Therapy for Trauma
For many, EMDR is a transformative treatment that greatly reduces the impact of traumatic or very stressful events in their lives. Some of the benefits are:
~ A reduction of symptoms (i.e. panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive memories / thoughts, anxiety, avoidance, or grief.
~ Increased connection with self. Following a traumatic event, some people disconnect from their bodies. EMDR can help restore connection between mind and body.
~ More control. The past should feel as if it is in the past. While EMDR will not remove your memories, you can expect less sensitivity and reactivity. You should feel as if you are more “in the driver’s seat”.