Grief and Loss
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss.
We tend to associate grief with the death. The loss of a loved one is one of life’s most painful events. When your spouse dies, your world changes. The death of a parent may be profoundly difficult. And, the impact of losing a close friend, sibling, or other important person can be accompanied by very intense feelings.
We also grieve nondeath losses. Many life events can trigger grief - the end of a relationship, a major illness, injury, loss of a job, financial hardships, or any significant life change. Nondeath losses can be uniquely painful and may be accompanied by complex emotional responses.
If you find that time has not healed your wounds and that you need additional support, I am here to listen and companion with you as you process the emotions, thoughts, and changes that accompany this time of transition in your life.
Grief has changed me.
Grief and loss will change you. You may find that you have new priorities. You may also notice a new sensitivity to the loss of others. Or you may even find that you question your beliefs. Some people question the meaning of life after a significant loss.
What does grief look and feel like?
There are no universals; however, some of the more common experiences are listed below.
-
Emotional Experiences
Sadness, fear, anxiety, panic, shock, anger, blame, irritability, numbness, guilt, vulnerability, loneliness, fatigue, hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, yearning, relief, apathy, and numbness.
-
Behavioral Experiences
Sleep disturbance, changes in eating, absentminded behavior, social withdrawal, dreams of the deceased, avoiding reminders, searching/calling out for the deceased, sighting, restless hyperactivity, crying, visiting places/carrying reminders of the deceased, and treasuring objects that belonged to the deceased.
-
Cognitive Experiences
Forgetfulness, disbelief, depersonalization (nothing seems real), confusion, difficulty concentrating, slowed thinking, preoccupation, obsessive thoughts of the deceased, having a hard time making decisions
-
Physical Experiences
Physical symptoms tend to be experienced earlier in the grief process. This may include exhaustion, tightness in throat, tightness in chest, heart palpitations, hollowness in the stomach, insomnia, lack of energy, fatigue, dry mouth, nausea, back pain, headache, abdominal pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, weakness in muscles, and oversensitivity to noise.
Ambiguous Loss
“Grief for the living aches in the heart’s most hopeful chamber.” - Angie Weiland-Crosby.
Disenfranchised Loss
What can I do?
Please do not allow others to talk you out of your personal experience. Honor your own way of experiencing and grieving a loss, even when… or rather, especially when society fails to validate your experience.
You may have to actively search for connection and support. Look for support groups with people that have experienced something similar. Many believe that disenfranchised grief is the most difficult kind of grief because of the lack of social support and validation - two things that are very helpful in the grieving process.
“The soul would have no rainbow, had the eyes no tears.”
— John Vance Chaney
Counseling
Grief is a normal response to loss. However, there are times when counseling can be helpful. You may want to think about counseling if you are feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or struggling to make it through each day. Counseling can help you integrate death or non-death losses into your life. Depending on the nature of the relationship, this may mean maintaining bonds with your loved one rather than relinquishing them. Let’s give some attention to the wound that never got the attention it needed to properly heal.
All services are online. No in-person services are available.