This can be a particularly hard time of year for those of us that grieve the loss of loved ones. As we gather, we are naturally reminded of the ones that are not here to celebrate with us. It may feel incredibly unfair as you scroll through all the images of happy families and couples on Facebook or Instagram. You may desperately wish that you could spend one more special day with your deceased mother, sister, or spouse.
Here a few things to keep in mind this holiday season as you grieve the loss of your loved one.
Grief takes its own time and follows its own path. Your grief experience is unique to you and your relationship.
Allow yourself the time and space you need to process your feelings and thoughts.
You may find that you oscillate between feelings of loss and feelings of hope/restoration. Allow for both experiences during this season. A moment of hope that shines through an otherwise dark day may be a welcome, if brief, reprieve.
Consider a project or activity to honor your loved one during the holidays. Make a special Christmas tree ornament. Prepare and eat his/her favorite meal. Light a candle. Create a memorial wreath. Share special memories with others. Private little rituals can be an important part of the grieving process.
Talk to someone. If you are feeling overwhelmed, reach out to a friend, family member, clergy, or other trusted person. A compassionate, listening ear can be the suave that your broken heart needs to survive the holidays without your loved.
Be gentle and trust yourself. Grief is the normal and natural response to loss. It’s okay to cry when you need to cry, laugh when you need to laugh… to feel whatever you are feeling.
Emily Watson, LMFT
