Is change possible?
Back in the 1990s, there was a belief among many in the field of psychology that the mind is “set” after we reach a certain age. After all, our frontal lobes appear to be fully developed by age 27. However, current neuroscience research suggests that this is not the case. Our minds are capable of change, healing and growth throughout our lifespan.
Perfectionism
Perfection is one part biology and one part environment. Some children seem to have a predisposition toward increased sensitivity, anxiety, and perfectionism. However, upbringing and environment are enormously influential. When some children are raised in a critical environment with unrealistically high expectations, it is scary to make mistakes and the child must find a way to cope and survive.
The Inner Critic
How do you talk to yourself? Our inner critic begins to develop at an early age. Messages of judgement and criticism from others are recorded in our psyches and can be replayed, even without our awareness. For some of us, it can feel so normal that we don’t even notice or question the messages.
Ambiguous Loss: Frozen Grief
Ambiguous loss is unique and different from other types of losses because it is steeped in uncertainty. This uncertainty can impact one’s identity and relationships. People crave clarity but often find little. For this reason, it can be one of the most difficult losses that people experience.
Change, Personal Growth, and Loss
It is quite common for us to think about our identities as “fixed”. However, subtle changes may be occurring over time without our awareness. It is very similar to the physical changes that happen over time. If you compare a recent picture with an old picture of yourself, you will probably notice some differences. But, what about the internal changes? Are you the same person you were 5 years ago, 10 years ago, even 20 or 30 years ago? If not, what kind of changes do you notice? Do you know when the change began?