Trauma and Grief: The Family Lifeboat
Maria Trozzi, Talking with Children About Loss, uses the metaphor of lifeboat to help families better understand the need to include everyone in process of grief. I’ve also found this metaphor to also be helpful for families living through a traumatic event, including brain injury. Sometimes, in an effort to protect our children and shield them from pain, we overlook their need to be both included.
Every family member must put on his/her life jacket and get into the lifeboat together to survive the storm.
You will experience waves of emotion, challenging behaviors, uncertainty, and losses. If you leave some members out in the deep dark water alone without survival gear, they will feel isolated and alone. Everyone needs connection and information. Without information, people (especially children) fill in the blanks with fear and fantasy. You are all in this together. The following suggestions are offered to help you navigate rough waters with your family.
provide honest explanations,
be willing to talk about all the changes in your lives,
allow for grieving and expression of emotion, and
notice any changes in roles or behavior among family members (i.e. children behaving like little adults, becoming invisible, acting as if they have no needs or emotions, etc.)
Emily Watson, LMFT
