Has your relationship changed since the brain injury? If you answered yes, you are not alone. Many couples report significant changes in their relationship following a brain injury. In fact, a brain injury can impact nearly every aspect of your relationship. For some couples the changes may be more profound, for others the changes may be a little more subtle. Just as every brain injury is unique, every relationship is unique.

How has your loved one’s brain injury changed you? Families face many, many changes following a brain injury. The changes can be significant and dramatic.

A severe brain injury is one of the most devastating events that a family can experience. Losses are multi-layered and complex. Changes in your family member can be profound enough to be grieved like a death. Additional losses may include loss of relationship(s), financial stability, changes family roles, and many more.

Feelings of sadness, frustration and loss are common. Most likely, you know firsthand just how complex and multi-layered the losses are after a severe brain injury. It’s okay to grieve those losses. You are allowed to grieve even if others keep reminding you that you should feel grateful to be alive. Just as each brain injury is unique and personal, so too is grief. Honor your own way of grieving.

Symptoms vary, depending on many factors including the type of injury, severity, neurology and individual differences. Changes may become more evident over time. Often, however, changes and challenges - that impact everyday functioning - may remain invisible to the world.

The storm is here. Every family member must put on his/her life jacket and get into the lifeboat together. You will experience waves of emotion, challenging behaviors, uncertainty and losses.

Ever wondered what the research says about grief and bereavement? Well, as it turns out, the things that we’ve learned from research are interesting - and I would say for me personally, very validating. Here are just a few of the important findings, from 25 years of grief and bereavement research:

Does the relationship end with the death of a loved one? Many people have been taught that moving forward after the death of a loved one means severing their connection. However, this idea has been revisited and challenged by grief researchers. As it turns out, some continuing bonds can be healthy and adaptive, while other bonds are not as helpful.

Grief comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while.

Positivity in grief embraces the idea that two things can be true at the same time. It does not deny the one’s reality. Unhelpful (toxic) positivity values the appearance of normalcy over authentic experiences and emotions. It denies one’s reality.