Brain Injury - Layers of Loss and Change
Feelings of sadness, frustration, and loss are common. Most likely, you know firsthand just how complex and multi-layered the losses are after a severe brain injury. It’s okay to grieve those losses. You are allowed to grieve even if others keep reminding you that you should feel grateful to be alive. Just as each brain injury is unique and personal, so too is grief. Honor your own way of grieving.
Layers of Loss and Change
Physical | Neurological | Psychological | Cognitive | Emotional Changes
Each one of these changes may deeply impact one’s life, relationships and daily functioning.
Loss of Self | Identity
One’s sense of self may be challenged. Some feel as if they do not “know who they are” at their very core. Grief and loss are interwoven in the process of re-defining self. Adapting to a life with a new disability or challenge is not easy, Part of building a new life may include grieving the old one.
Loss of Independence
Survivors often grapple with the awareness of a new limitations and they struggle to rebuild their lives. Some must ask for and depend on others for help, often for the first time in their adult lives. For those that cherish their independence, this can be a very difficult.
Social Changes
Many brain injury survivors find that some old friends fade away for many reasons. One reason may be that the survivor is no longer be involved in the same leisure activities or programs.
Vocational | Employment Changes
For some it may not be possible to return to the same job or field of work.
Family Roles
Brain injury is a family affair and each person within the family will be impacted in different ways. Relationships are asked to change and accommodate this new reality. For some spouses, there may be a role reversal. Some may be called upon to be caregivers.
Spirituality
Many brain injury survivors reevaluate their core beliefs. Some become more connected to their belief system. Others may lose connection with their belief system and experience feelings of loss. Finding meaning is one’s experiences becomes a critical part of healing for many survivors.
Financial Instability
Months of rehab, loss of income and depletion of savings leave many in a state of financial uncertainty or dependence on others.
Aspirations - Hopes & Dreams
A brain injury may prevent survivors from pursing long held goals and dreams. Old aspirations may be shelved (temporarily or permanently) and begin to collect dust. Feelings of loss are a normal part of this process, and may be necessary for the survivor to begin to explore new hopes and dreams for the future. This may be further impacted by the survivor’s stage of life. A young person may grieve when peers reach milestones that they have not achieved (i.e. career, marriage or family).
Emily Watson, LMFT
